Grief can be a response to even the most heart-wrenching of circumstances, including a divorce, an empty nest, or death. Though everyone will feel this emotion, no two individuals are likely to experience it the same way or within the same time frame. The specific stages that most individuals will go through are relatively similar but their sequencing and time spent in each stage will differ widely. This is part of why techniques and tools used in grief counseling may help those experiencing this path as a counselor can provide one on one support and advice to an individual during this difficult period. “Will grief counseling do anything for what I’m going through now?” If you have that question, below is a closer look at who, if anyone, might benefit from the process of grief counseling for self or a loved one.
Have you experienced a recent loss?
Process your grief in therapy
Stages of complicated grief
Prior to discussing the advantages of grief counseling, it is beneficial to understand grief itself, and the important stages of this emotional process. The most popular and accepted outline of the grieving process is the five stages of the Kübler-Ross model. Though these are common among those who’ve lost loved one, it is important to note that they do not always happen or return in any particular order. They can occur in various sequences for each individual, and some may not experience a stage while others may repeat it more than once.
Nonetheless, gaining an understanding these stages may serve as a place to begin in understanding the emotional responses associated with grief. Regardless of where you are in your process, a counselor can assist you in continuing to move towards healing.
Denial
This stage is often the first following the distressing news and is tied to emotional numbness – your brain’s attempt to protect you from flooding. You may not react emotionally at all because you are in shock and unable to process the information. You might question whether a loss or difficult event occured.
Anger
Grief-causing events or experiences can evoke anything from heartbreak or frustration to fear or guilt. Many of these feelings, particularly at first, can often be felt and expressed as anger.
Anger is often labeled a “secondary” emotion; that is, it is generally a gut reaction that will eventually subside and, beneath the surface, will give rise to or be replaced by other, often multivalent emotions.
While an individual may feel angry in the moment, the emotion may later harden other, more subtle variations of the feeling.
Bargaining
This stage in the mourning process typically occurs after the intense initial emotion has settled down somewhat and a person starts to regain some clarity regarding the situation. They can become lost in “what ifs” and “if onlys” and spend a considerable amount of time fantasizing about how things might have gone differently. Those who are religious or have faith in a greater power may direct their bargaining toward this as a means to get some relief.
Depression
Grief at this stage may or may not be linked to the likelihood of experiencing symptoms of clinical depression, a serious mental illness that is more than a transient sadness and usually necessitates treatment in order to be alleviated. In either case, this part of the grieving process is most simply associated with profound sorrow over the loss. They may also be susceptible to harmful coping strategies like substance use disorders. In situations such as this, it is very beneficial for that individual to access professional support to remain safe in their transition through the stage.
Acceptance
The last stage is acceptance, though in the beginning of course acceptance can be laced with visits back to earlier stages. To “accept” doesn’t mean that you won’t ever be sad about your loss, it means that you have found a way to cope with it in a healthy manner. Acceptance starts with what is often referred to as an “upward turn”; this is when the ‘bleakness’ that you’ve felt since the event began to fade. You can then allow yourself to grieve that loss and begin to hopefully envision your own future.
Counseling support during the grief process
Grief is a natural reaction to a profound loss, but can be difficult to cope with alone. It may be especially difficult to process when it is chronic or severe. Ongoing, chronic mourning may be suggestive of a mental health diagnosis of complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder/persistent complex bereavement disorder.
Seeking help from a grief counselor
The experience of grieving, whether from the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or the loss of a job, is unique to the individual. Counseling can assist you in grieving according to your own individual style. A grief counselor can assist you in processing your emotions regarding the breakup, can teach you ways to cope with it, and can help you to continue on with your life.
Grief & depression symptom management
If you are struggling with symptoms of a mental health condition such as depression, or using alcohol or other substances to cope with your grief, professional therapy is encouraged. But even if you don’t, you can still benefit from the grief counseling services no matter what stage of the grief process you may be in from the above. Some possible advantages of loss grief counseling small include:
A safe container for feelings. Therapists are trained active listening nonjudgmental individuals. This means they need to provide a safe enough environment for you to feel comfortable to honestly express your feelings without concern about what they might think of you. They can be there to let you know that whatever you are experiencing is normal and okay.
Coping strategies. During a challenging life experience such as the bereavement process of realizing the death of someone you love, there is an opportunity for the necessity of healthy coping skills to handle such an experience. A therapist can help you discover your own strategies such as these.
A permission slip to be selfish. If your loss was a family death or you are parents, you may find yourself playing the caretaker, shepherding others through their grief. Or you may be caught up in the logistics of things and not given yourself time to feel, or even guilty about the feelings you do have about the loss. Attending a private individual counseling session allows you the permission to be concerned about how you’re doing, without guilt or judgement.
Healing in your own time. Once again, one-on-one grief therapy is focused on you, and especially related to loss, this is important. This allows you to want to heal on your own terms, at your own speed and not be pushed or inhibited by someone else’s process of grieving.
Finding the right grief counselor
Since each individual experiences their own personal grief process, no single counseling grief coping technique will be effective for everyone. So, there are varying forms of grief therapy. Group therapy also may be a useful form of treatment, where individuals can begin to work through their experiences among others going through similar challenges. Like group counseling, for some individuals “support groups can be beneficial, as they provide opportunities to discuss the experience with others who have gone through a similar difficult experience and who understand the feelings involved”. One study exploring the therapeutic effects of online communities for grief in 2016 concluded that “individuals participating in these groups “result[ed] in decreased psychological suffering”. Any who feel they want to process their feelings in a support group, online or in person may wish to do so.
Benefits of grief counseling: Family grief counselor
You might also engage in grief counseling via family counseling. Relatives connected to the deceased may also be better able “to cope through talking about their feelings”. Crisis therapy allows families to begin to find meaning, express themselves, and communicate their way through signs and symptoms of mental health conditions tied to a significant loss.
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