There is no shortage of reasons why families choose to seek assistance with their issues by going to family counseling. Many families face emotional challenges, disconnection, and other issues, both occasionally and devastatingly.
If a family is experiencing ongoing issues that impact the mental health of one member or the stability of the family unit, it would be in their best interest to contact a marriage and family therapist for guidance in dealing with their situation.
Many families use therapy to have more productive and open conversations; build stronger, healthier relationships; and create a better supporting network among family members.
In this article, we will discuss the frequent issues that indicate it may be time to seek professional treatment for your family.
Reasons Why Families Seek Marriage Therapy and Family Therapy
Families who attend family and marriage therapy are referred to as family units, (i.e., any people who care about one another and feel they are a family). Family units (also called households) can include blended families, adoptive families, and stepfamilies.
The most frequent concerns expressed by families who request therapy include the following: unique and diverse challenges faced by blended families in addressing common problems that occur within the unit, including parenting differences; differences in values and beliefs between one parent and the children; lack of connection to one of the parent's new partner; and sibling rivalry. In addition, blended families frequently deal with the fallout from divorce or separation, which adds additional stress to the unit and negatively impacts the unit's mental health.
Therapy can help blended families develop: a shared parenting style, stronger connections between family members, appropriate boundaries, and to communicate in more effective ways.
Family Mental Health and Major Changes to Life Circumstances
Major transitions in life can be difficult for all members of the family to navigate and adjust to. Even if the transition is not directly impacting your children, as with the parent starting a new job, it can still create stress and instability throughout the entire family. For example, a new job will likely lead to longer hours at work, stress and distraction from work, disruption of everyday family rituals and routines, and a change in household finances.
Here are just a few examples of major life changes you may want to consider:
- Moving to a new home.
- The birth of a new child.
- Divorce/separation.
- Employment changes.
- A major new responsibility.
- A serious illness/chronic medical condition.
- Natural disaster.
- Death or grief in the family.
Family therapists are trained to assist families in creating appropriate support systems so there are opportunities for family members to share their worries, concerns, and emotions with one another during times of change or disruption.
The Impact of Isolation on Family Members
As stated by the Surgeon General of the United States, we are currently experiencing a public health crisis known as an "epidemic of loneliness." This crisis has led to serious consequences and ramifications for both physical and mental health.
If you or any other family member is withdrawing and isolating himself/herself, it is likely time to seek a professional assessment and intervention to address your concerns. Social withdrawal is often a symptom of a mental disorder, such as major depression or eating disorders, and it is generally recommended that these behaviors be addressed as soon as possible.
A family therapist can work with the entire family to increase their understanding of the symptoms of social withdrawal, how to assist one another, and how to identify the potential for serious consequences for children through their parents.
The Role of Family Counseling During Adolescents' Life Transitions
Adolescents are navigating many fast and dramatic changes—rapidly changing hormones; searching for independence; needing to belong; and struggling with self-esteem—during their teenage years. This is a time of great confusion for adolescents, and it is also a time when many adolescents withdraw, distance themselves, or act in ways that frustrate parents. Consequently, this period of adolescence is very often accompanied by a change in the level of emotional turmoil and the level of emotional conflict within the family.
Regardless of whether the adolescent is the "symptom bearer," all members of the family may be experiencing the emotional distress associated with the adolescent's challenges. In a study published in the journal Psychiatry, it was found that adolescents are not the only ones with mental health needs; members of a family are also equally at risk for experiencing problems that require support. Family therapy can support the mental health of all family members and provide all members of the family tools to support each other, to express concerns, and to set appropriate boundaries and expectations.
Typical among all American adults, 10% are affected by substance abuse at some moment in their lives. The individual suffering from a substance use disorder will benefit from treatment via counseling, support groups, interventions and/or rehab services. In addition to individual treatment options, family members can also find ways to help their loved ones by obtaining family therapy, or a type of therapy in which all family members attend and are present together. This can be accomplished by providing family members with skills to be there for each other through sharing their experiences regarding their loved ones' substance abuse, educating themselves about substance use disorders and destigmatizing substance use disorders. Additionally, family therapy helps family members learn how to recognize the warning signs of a relapse.
Families typically have their own secrets they keep, many of which do not get shared openly with other family members. Common family secrets include the following:
- Being unfaithful (infidelity)
- Hiding grades at school
- Using substances
- Lying about parties (or other activities that are not allowed)
- Sexual orientation and/or gender identity
- Having symptoms of mental health problems
These types of secrets will have negative impacts on family dynamics, eroding trust among family members creating distance between them. A family therapist will help to create an environment of sharing, building trust and reassurance in that environment which will make it easier for family members to discuss their fears about what's going on in their family without fear of being judged, being shunned or ostracised.
Emotional Intimacy among Family Members
Emotional intimacy, which can be defined as the emotional bond between people, depends on reciprocal vulnerability in family relationships--the willingness of one person to share their emotional self with another. Family members can lose their emotional intimacy when they become busy with their own schedule of obligations, stressors and activities and in turn they can breed an emotional distance in their relationship creating less affection and connection between family members.
A family therapist can help family members to establish and maintain an emotional bond with one another by facilitating discussions that the family can implement outside of therapy, such as preparing and eating meals together; making time for family activities on a regular basis; inviting friends along to family activities and spending time with each other on a regular basis.
Healing From Past Traumas through Family Therapy
There are many times in a family when the family is asked to put the past behind them. However, often people do not realize that events that happened long ago can continue to have a negative effect on them if they are not addressed. When children experience traumatic or negative events (e.g. witnessing infidelity between their parents, being the victim of abuse) may continue to be negatively affected by this event for many years after it has occurred.
Some families may attempt to move on with their life, or do not know how to talk about these events, however if the trauma is not addressed, the impact could be much more damaging. A family therapist will educate the family about how the body responds to trauma; help the family to build the skills to validate each other's emotional responses to trauma; and provide the family with tools to heal from past traumas together.
Growing Apart, Respecting Differences, Finding Compromises
As children transition into adolescence and adulthood; parents may struggle to navigate the differences they are experiencing as their children develop their independence and grow into their own unique person. Parents and children often have conflicting views when it comes to expectations. For example, when parents have the expectation that their children will participate in the same children’s sports their parents did; go to the same college as their parents did; have children, and go into the same career field as their parents.
When parents impose their values and expectations upon their children, parents can create tension, resentment, and sometimes rebellion against parental expectations. Marriage & Family Therapy can help parents provide options for their children while allowing their children to cultivate independence and self-confidence through their own decision-making processes.
Holding Grudges
Many families have an established structure of behavior or behaviors that create conflict. (e.g. being excessively critical, infidelity, lack of contribution of household chores, etc.) Conflict in the family will often lead to the development of grudges. Many families can benefit from discussing their hurts with a licensed professional who will act in the capacity of neutral third-party.
Finding Family Therapy Online
You can find a licensed and credentialed marriage & family therapist online by doing an Internet search for therapists in your area; by utilizing an online directory of therapists; contacting your general practitioner to find a therapist through their referral source; reaching out to your insurance company (if you have insurance); or by contacting local non-profit organizations that may be able to provide lower-cost family therapy services.
If you decide to participate in an online family therapy session, it is a great alternative to face-to-face therapy. Online couples and family therapy sessions can be provided to clients who are uncomfortable discussing their issues from the office environment; clients who have difficulty finding a time that works for their schedule for in-person therapy; or clients who want to find a cheaper option because the cost of online therapy is often about the same or less than what you would pay with a co-payment or co-insurance under your health insurance plan.
Listen In
