Families can go through rough patches. Stress associated with job loss, divorce, financial problems, parenting struggles, major life changes, and misunderstanding among family members can be a consistent source of frustration within a family.
Even families who deeply love each other may find themselves at a point where communication is breaking down; and relationships are feeling strained. Family counseling can help families before it gets to that point.
Family counseling isn't necessarily for families who are in crisis; in fact, family therapy is a healthy and preventative way to improve communication, resolve conflict, build relationships, and develop stronger connections with each other. The majority of families wait years to get help.
However, earlier intervention, which involves getting help sooner rather than later, will generally provide better results and help prevent emotional wounds from forming over time.
Therapy can be beneficial for a family dealing with; frequent arguments, behavioral issues with children, disability of a parent/spouse, grief, emotional issues (e.g., anxiety, depression), children struggling in school, family conflict related to divorce or separation, blended family issues, or various other family dynamics.
As such, finding the right therapist can make a positive difference for the family. Family therapy, or family counseling, is a form of therapy that focuses on the entire family as opposed to only individual members of the family.
It is based on the premise that whatever effects one family member will affect all members of that family also. When families have a breakdown in communication or build tension, it impacts families as a whole (i.e.; brothers to brothers, father/mother to child, sibling/sibling, child/sibling).
Family therapists help families to identify unhealthy behavioral patterns and teach families new, healthier ways to communicate with one another (support one another) as a family. During counseling sessions with family members, the licensed therapist guides the family's discussions, creating an atmosphere that is safe and neutral.
During the sessions, a therapist will guide the family discussions, reduce tension, and promote new, healthier ways to communicate with one another. Family therapy does not involve placing blame; it does not assign blame.
Rather, family therapy focuses on helping family members understand each other better and work together in a more productive manner. In most cases, family counseling is focused on:
- Improving communication
- Resolving ongoing conflict
- Building strong relationships
- Restoring trust
- Coping with stress and life transitions
- Supporting children/teenagers
- Creating healthy boundaries
Some families may require only a few sessions to address a single presenting problem while other families may require therapy for a longer period of time in order to address more complex issues.
When Should a Family Seek Counseling?
Many people believe that therapy is only for families in crisis. However, family counseling is often best utilized prior to the crisis point.
Constant tension in a home and communication that often ends up in arguing are both major warning signs that a family needs immediate assistance. There are several common behaviors of families that indicate they may benefit from counseling to some extent, including, but not limited to:
- Frequent arguing or yelling
- Communication problems
- Family members emotionally distancing from one another
- Changes in behavior of children/teenagers
- Ongoing tension or stress in the family home
- Increasing difficulty engaging in communication about major life transitions
- Grief or loss
- Divorce or separation
- Distrust or infidelity
- Various mental health problems impacting the entire family
While some families do avoid one another in order to maintain some sort of peace; other families will find they are "walking on egg shells" in order to avoid arguing. Both of these types of behaviors, if not addressed and resolved in counseling, will negatively impact family dynamics in a very significant manner.
Family counseling helps to reduce the urgency of communication and helps the family learn how to communicate with the intention of helping each member of the family resolve their disagreements in a healthier manner.
Communication Problems Can Slowly Damage Relationships
In most cases of families, communication is the most common reason for seeking therapy. By arguing sometimes, it is normal between family members.
The problems occur after communication becomes hostile, aggressive, or emotionally draining. Some family members develop negative patterns of critiquing, sarcasm, blaming, or defensiveness.
Other family members simply stop communicating with one another and avoid having difficult conversations altogether. Eventually, with time, small misunderstandings create bigger emotional wounds.
You may be able to identify the following ideas, depending on the family:
- Conversation turning into arguments or fights
- Family members becoming emotionally distant
- Repeatedly arguing about the same issues
- Finding it difficult to calmly discuss important issues or topics
- Feeling like you're not being heard or are being misunderstood
- Passive/aggressive behavior and silence treatment
Family therapy provides families with the tools to communicate with one another without attacking one another's character. Family therapists often utilize techniques, such as active listening, resolving conflict in a healthy manner, and providing alternative and appropriate ways of expressing emotions while refraining from placing blame on other family members.
While these changes may appear minor, they can significantly alter the family dynamic.
Transitioning through Major Life Changes Can Cause Stress to any Family
Any transition in life can cause emotional stress on a family. Disrupting routine, expectation, and position in the family during a major transition creates difficulty for all family members to adjust at the same time.
Some of the major life transitions that bring a family into therapy include:
- Divorce or separation
- Remarriage or creating a blended family
- Moving or relocating
- Job loss or financial hardship
- Serious illness
- Death of a loved one
- Birth of a child
- Children going to college
Divorce can cause emotional upheaval for both parents and children. Counseling can help to improve communication between family members, decrease emotional conflict among family members, and support children through the transition.
When bringing two families together there are many unique challenges. Creating blended families creates parenting differences, boundary difficulties, and issues with discipline and trust.
Family therapy can be a great way to help create healthier relationships among family members and establish a stronger emotional connection over time. Families often seek counseling for grief and loss; every family member processes grief differently and without support and communication, family members unintentionally withdraw emotionally from each other.
Behavior & Mood Change In Children and Adolescents
Due to their age, many children and adolescents communicate distress through their behavior rather than verbally expressing their feelings. When there is a sudden behavioral change it may be an indication of something far more significant happening in the family system.
Some behavior that parents may notice are:
- Angry or defiant behavior
- Withdrawn or isolated behavior
- Declining school performance
- Increased levels of anxiety or outbursts of emotion
- Increase in conflict within the home
- Substance use
- Self-injurious behavior
By providing parents with greater insight into the behaviors that are causing concern, family therapy can help parents better support their children, thus creating a sense of emotional safety for the child. Stress can cause children to respond to their parent's conflict/divorce/grief or emotional tension in the home.
Family counseling can provide a family with support in dealing with this stress as a family versus placing the primary focus on the child. Therapeutic intervention can help parents establish effective parenting strategies, enhance the level of consistency in the home, and create healthy communication with their children.
Mental Health Impacts Entire Family
Mental health affects more than one person. Mental health conditions such as trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, and other emotional difficulties usually have an impact on the entire family dynamic.
Family members may find themselves feeling lost, helpless, frustrated, or emotionally draining from providing support to someone they love. Family therapy can provide a family with greater insights into what is happening to the family while providing the family with tools to develop healthier communication patterns and support.
Addiction is one example in which family counseling can be an extremely valuable resource. The damage that substance abuse causes to the family can cause a loss of trust, difficulty communicating, and a loss of emotional stability for the entire family.
Counseling can help families establish healthy boundaries and avoid unhealthy patterns of enabling or codependency. Victims of trauma and PTSD often create emotional safety for the entire family.
Counseling helps the family to process the experience together and helps the family rebuild trust.
Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal/Emotional Distress
One of the most important parts of a healthy family relationship is trust. When trust is broken due to dishonesty, infidelity, addiction, or emotional betrayal it can be extremely difficult to restore with the assistance from an outside resource.
Family therapy provides an environment to have difficult conversations in a constructive manner. Restoring trust typically requires an extended period of time to complete.
Restoring trust usually includes the following:
- Honest communication
- Accepting responsibility for harmful conduct
- Developing healthy boundaries
- Restoring emotional safety
- Demonstrating consistency over an extended period of time
Healing after betrayal will generally be difficult and will require a significant amount of time, however, with the assistance of therapy families will be able to communicate effectively and grow in a healthy and productive manner.
Why Family Therapy Should Be Considered
No family is perfect.
Every family has challenges, stress, and difficulties at one time or another. To seek help does not mean you have failed.
In many instances, it shows your strength, self-awareness, and determined to grow as a family. Family therapy can assist families with enhancing their communication skills, creating tools to reduce conflict, develop emotionally healthy relationships, and provide a family with strategies to address life's difficulties.
The earlier you can address the issues in a family, the easier it will be to repair the relationships between family members prior to an emotional distance developing. Healthy families are not families without problems.
Healthy families are families willing to work together as a family to resolve their differences.
Final Thoughts on Family Counseling
Family counseling is an amazing way for families to address communication issues, work on healing old problems and become, happier, healthier and closer knit. Here at Odyssey Counseling, family counseling is one of the cornerstones of the counseling servicese we provide. We are ready to serve all your counseling needs, including family counseling. Give us call today at 505-315-7397 to discuss getting family counseling for your family!
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